First
It had been an odd Thanksgiving.
Maybe it was that no matter the case, Rachel was incredibly glad that it was over.
It had been intensely mortifying when she and her brother Elim had argued so intensely that a couple of people were staring. It was extremely out of character for them to argue like this (in public, at least) being that the both of them were sensitive to awkward tension.
Her elderly great-grandmother Mae had forgotten the name's of her cousins, and had insulted them, without even meaning to; they had borne it well, being that they were used to it. She had been this way for years. Rachel was even more self-conscious at family gatherings, not wanting to be written off as a stereotypical sheltered homeschooler in front of these cousins who operated in a totally different and terrifying world.
Throughout the day she had thought many less-than-complimentary thoughts regarding her extended family's conduct, at times wishing that she could dig a hole and climb in. This wasn't an uncommon sentiment during family gatherings, due to one thing and another.
After the taxing family gathering, her family had gone home loaded up with desserts supplied by her aunt. Conscious of her surroundings, she took in the span of her life thus far in under a second, (this feature of the human brain was one of her favorites).
Rachel had apparently become a Christian when she was younger; however, the ideas of loving and serving God as her Lord, denying herself daily, and even repentance itself were relatively new concepts. She sometimes wondered when the actual day of her salvation was, but then remembered with a smile that it didn't matter; her sins had been forgiven, and she belonged to the Lord, and no one could take her out of His hand. With this peace-giving truth in mind, she began the ruthless introspection.
Although she was constantly fully capable of rising above the situation, she had given in to the easier and more sinful course of action that was begging to be explored. She had felt guilty over her actions, as she did pretty much every time she had a wrong motive. Her mind was a battleground, and victories were always a great relief.
These convicting realizations pounded against her brain, demanding to be noticed as usual. "I'm more selfish than I thought." She had been trying to listen to music and sketch faces, in order to relax after the day's first-world atrocities. It wasn't working.
"Rachel. You have a family, and food and you don't live in a communist country where church is conducted underground. Suck it up. How can you classify this as a bad day? My sins are forgiven, I'm happy and healthy, and there are impoverished people with better attitudes than mine. Help me, Lord."
She looked around at her family in the van, to remind herself of who God had given her.
He had given her these people who surrounded her with love at every turn, much like He had always done.
Her parents were sitting in the front seat, singing to one of their Indelible Grace CDs. Her mom sang harmony; she always said that her husband had the best voice in the family, but he didn't believe it. It was true but Rachel thought they both sounded best together.
End of First
Maybe it was that no matter the case, Rachel was incredibly glad that it was over.
It had been intensely mortifying when she and her brother Elim had argued so intensely that a couple of people were staring. It was extremely out of character for them to argue like this (in public, at least) being that the both of them were sensitive to awkward tension.
Her elderly great-grandmother Mae had forgotten the name's of her cousins, and had insulted them, without even meaning to; they had borne it well, being that they were used to it. She had been this way for years. Rachel was even more self-conscious at family gatherings, not wanting to be written off as a stereotypical sheltered homeschooler in front of these cousins who operated in a totally different and terrifying world.
Throughout the day she had thought many less-than-complimentary thoughts regarding her extended family's conduct, at times wishing that she could dig a hole and climb in. This wasn't an uncommon sentiment during family gatherings, due to one thing and another.
After the taxing family gathering, her family had gone home loaded up with desserts supplied by her aunt. Conscious of her surroundings, she took in the span of her life thus far in under a second, (this feature of the human brain was one of her favorites).
Rachel had apparently become a Christian when she was younger; however, the ideas of loving and serving God as her Lord, denying herself daily, and even repentance itself were relatively new concepts. She sometimes wondered when the actual day of her salvation was, but then remembered with a smile that it didn't matter; her sins had been forgiven, and she belonged to the Lord, and no one could take her out of His hand. With this peace-giving truth in mind, she began the ruthless introspection.
These convicting realizations pounded against her brain, demanding to be noticed as usual. "I'm more selfish than I thought." She had been trying to listen to music and sketch faces, in order to relax after the day's first-world atrocities. It wasn't working.
"Rachel. You have a family, and food and you don't live in a communist country where church is conducted underground. Suck it up. How can you classify this as a bad day? My sins are forgiven, I'm happy and healthy, and there are impoverished people with better attitudes than mine. Help me, Lord."
She looked around at her family in the van, to remind herself of who God had given her.
He had given her these people who surrounded her with love at every turn, much like He had always done.
Her parents were sitting in the front seat, singing to one of their Indelible Grace CDs. Her mom sang harmony; she always said that her husband had the best voice in the family, but he didn't believe it. It was true but Rachel thought they both sounded best together.
End of First
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